I don’t know why I did this. He was just a crazy man, with an electrified fork. Still, something about seeing him just made me smile… So I called Jklol Carglibot at the number on his business card, hoping to hear more about the future. I got a busy signal, then he called back in a few days.
“I have just returned from Carglibot!” he said. “Carglibot is the home of your future! But, unfortunately, it has no future itself. It will be swallowed by a black hole in just a few years. You can’t see it, because the light that reaches your planet from the Carglibot System is millions of years old. There were very few refugees, like me, from the planet Carglibot, but we conquered your world in the year 2165. My father was the lone dissenter. He thought that your world should BECOME GREAT on its own merits, but he was outvoted, and the Earthlings were enslaved. I have traveled back in time to FULFILL HIS PROMISE. Only the very smart and sometimes mean were aware of the upcoming black hole incident, in the future where I’m from. But this time, I warned the best of them. They know about the BOOK THAT WILL MAKE THE FUTURE GREAT from the first visitors from my world to yours, and they will aid you in creating exactly the world that this book describes. PRAISE THE STARS, AND KNEEL BEFORE CARGLIBOT! It is all going according to plan.”
At this point, I hung up, because there’s just no talking to this person. He should seek help. If I ever see him again, that’s definitely what I’ll tell him.